I risked being ignored, or worse, when I texted my
30-year-old son: ‘Love you!’ ❤️
A few years ago, I lived in a constant state of feeling hurt and rejected. Because no matter what I wrote in a text or email, my son would ‘ghost’ me.
He wouldn’t answer when I called.
I didn’t hear from him for months at a time – even though we lived in the same city!
I invited him to share meals and attend events that I thought he would enjoy.
On the rare occasions when he accepted my invitation, I drove him to and from my house, or to visit family who live in another city.
He’d spend the entire drive with earbuds in his ears, like a teenager. When we got to our destination, he’d ignore me, or be irritable and unpleasant. I felt like I was walking on eggshells. 😒
Wendy Vineyard is an independently certified master coach, relationship expert, stress expert, holistic health practitioner, communications consultant, writer, author and workshop leader.
There were times I could convince him to agree to get together,
but he’d cancel at the last minute, or ‘forget’ that we’d made plans!
My moods would swing from feeling sad and hopeless to frustrated and bitter. Sometimes I got so angry that I thought about never contacting him again!
The whole situation made me doubt myself. I felt like I was a bad mom, even though I was the best mom I knew how to be while my son was growing up.
Most moms feel heartsick and embarrassed when their adult child rejects them for months or years.
They worry that they may never have a warm and loving relationship with their adult child again.
I can certainly relate.
My name is Wendy Vineyard and I’m a relationship coach.
I help mothers who feel hurt and rejected by their adult child so they can rebuild a fulfilling relationship that lasts a lifetime.
I’m an expert at helping people transform their lives.
Since 2003, I’ve been a change coach, master practitioner of advanced neuroscience processes, a relationship expert, a holistic health practitioner and a natural health writer.
I’m the author of a best-selling wellness book: “Powerful Habits to Grow Younger Every Day – Look and Feel 10 Years Younger Naturally.
But despite all my professional achievements and success, I was hiding a deep, dark secret in my personal life.
It was ironic that I successfully helped other people solve their problems, but didn’t have a clue about how my relationship with my son had gotten to this terrible, painful place… or how to fix it!
As time went on, I became obsessed with trying to solve this problem.
I thought: “I must have done something wrong, so there must be something I can say or do to improve things between us.”
But no matter what I said or did… nothing worked:
🥺 I tried initiating heart-to-heart talks to tell him how much I love him.
🥺I asked him why he was ignoring me and shutting me out of his life. But I never got an answer that made sense to me.
🥺I tried apologizing in person for anything I thought might be a problem for him. I wrote it in a letter too. No response.
I felt isolated and alone in my misery. 😢
I couldn’t share how hurt and rejected I felt with my family or friends. I was worried that they would judge, shame or blame me for having an estranged relationship with my own child.
And, it was always awkward when they asked about him because I had no idea how he was – I hadn’t heard from him in months.
I dreaded special occasions such as Mother’s Day, my birthday, Thanksgiving and Christmas. Because I didn’t know if I could count on my son to celebrate any of them with me.
It was beyond humiliating and embarrassing!
I felt so confused. There was an ache in my heart every day. My unspoken fear was that we would lose touch – maybe forever!
I was desperate to rebuild the loving relationship that we once had and to feel good about myself again!
Finally, I got fed up with existing this way.
After years of trying to figure this out, I made a surprising discovery.
When I stopped trying to solve this problem by myself and finally asked for help from an expert, I found the solution where I wasn’t expecting it.
I saw that it made perfect sense and it took the pressure off me!
It was a relief to learn that I wasn’t to blame for this problem – and neither was he!
I was finally able to let go of unresolved relationship drama that I’d been hanging onto because I didn’t know how to let it go.
I learned how to have better intentions and expectations when he and I talked or visited.
I learned and practiced many new life-transforming…
👍 Ways to think about, talk about and interact with my son.
👍 Insights and better ways of looking at the situation.
Within a few weeks, I began to show up differently in my life – calmer, stronger and focused on what I wanted for myself, not the past.
For the first time in a long time, I felt in control of myself and proud of how I was handling my relationship with my son.
After a few months, I noticed that he and I were spending more time together and we were getting along better than we had in years.
The final convincer that our relationship had truly transformed was when he asked for my advice on something that was deeply personal to him!
So when I texted him “Love you!” ❤️ recently, and he replied a few minutes later: “Love you too Mummah!” I had another reminder of how far we had come from those dark days.
I still feel so grateful (and relieved!!) because…
😃 We had rebuilt the strong, loving, mutually-respectful mother and son relationship that we had lost!
😃 I hadn’t given up on him, or tried to ‘wait it out’. Because there was nothing more painful in all my years of being a mother than suffering through being estranged from my son!
😃 I was more patient, accepting, loving, compassionate and forgiving of myself.
😃 I was inspired to become an even better coach!
My transformations made me realize I had found something vitally important that could help other moms who were in a similar crisis with their grown child.
Over the next year, I took courses and completed case studies to learn and practice the processes that had worked for me – building on the diplomas, certifications and skills that I already had.
Then, I created a 3-step process based on what I had learned and experienced.
I knew that the 1:1 work that I did with clients was transformational.
That was solid…
Also, I realized that knowing and practicing several advanced skills, tools and unwritten rules for parenting an adult child were vital to my success with my son. Families and schools rarely teach these skills, few people ever learn them, but everyone needs them when they’re ready for drama-free, fulfilling relationships.
My intention was to fully support moms to rebuild their relationships with their adult children. So I added those essentials to my program.
Naturally, I wanted to be sure that I could duplicate my own results. So I thought why not share my program with a few clients and see if it will work for them too.
And to my delight, it worked for most of them!
Obviously, there’s no single solution that works for everyone, but I was very happy that my program worked so consistently for my clients.
It even worked for people who hadn’t had a good relationship with their adult child for years!
My client Michelle was devastated after enduring years of hostile, angry treatment from two of her adult sons.
She used several of the skills and strategies that I taught her, and the destructive behavior ended.
Now one of those sons texts her when he arrives home at night, and the other connects with her daily about their fitness challenge.
Debbie was feeling deeply unhappy and left out of her son’s life – and he lived with her and her husband! She only had a spark of hope left when she decided to work with me.
Now she’s making steady progress on her relationship with her son and tells me that she’s loving her life!
I knew I was onto something.
Since then, I’ve been able to help a growing number of families with this same discovery.
And because I’m on a mission to help as many moms as I can to rebuild a fulfilling relationship with their adult child…
I feel it’s my duty to share this discovery (that has worked so well for me and my clients) with as many people as I can!
And it’s all revealed inside an ONLINE TRAINING that’s FREE to attend right now called The Relationship Rescue Blueprint, here:👉 https://www.fulfillingrelationship.com/registration
I developed this training to share the 3-step process my clients use to rebuild a fulfilling relationship with their grown child… even if their son or daughter ignores their texts, won’t answer their emails or won’t talk to them.
Inside this training I share:
✅ The #1 mistake moms make when they try to rebuild a happy, healthy relationship with their adult child
✅ The common childhood experience that can unknowingly snowball to sabotage relationships
✅ The simple choice my clients make to help them authentically reconnect with their adult son or daughter
✅ Why the standard healing method used by most other relationship experts can fail 50 percent of the time (and what to do instead)!
✅ The surprising life-transforming benefits my clients notice in themselves as they rebuild their relationship with their estranged adult child!
And while we’re all riding out this crazy time of physical distancing and self-isolation, there’s never been a better time to begin to rebuild the foundation for a fulfilling relationship with a beloved child.
This online training is FREE to attend. It’s exclusively for moms who feel hurt and rejected by their adult child and…
- Are open and honest with themselves
- Have a do-whatever-it-takes attitude when they want something
- Are 100% committed to accept expert help and support … and take action!
This is not for moms who are…
- Unwilling to take responsibility for their role in this problem. Because we cannot change others, only ourselves
- Unable to finish what they start
- Looking for an ‘easy’ button. It takes work and time to rebuild any relationship. And both people need to rebuild trust and believe that things really have improved – for good!